This Hullabaloo Life

Closing Time

2011-11-09T08:37:00.004-05:00

Where do I begin? (cue: Closing Time by Semisonic)

Hullabaloo Party Planner for Children will cease operating on December 31st, 2011 after 4 1/2 years of offering complete, in-home birthday parties. While our sister company Bre Creative continues to meet the demand for family and corporate entertainers, the time of the big blue hippo, Balooberry (our mascot) has figuratively come to an end.

Since Hullabaloo started, my children have lived in a house of decorations and costume storage, loot bags being built on the dining room table and the sound of the buzzing embosser for invitations. All three have participated in so many ways, even by donning costumes. My partner, Rob has been with me every step of the way, driving supplies, hanging streamers, even dressing as a pirate.

It was a family run business until Hullabaloo and Bre Creative came together in January under the corporate umbrella Parallela. Since then, my new business partner and best friend, Breanne Cram and I have enjoyed this colourful ride but have also been faced with hard choices.

Finally, I'd like to recognize the support we've had from friends and the new relationships that came from being a business owner. Your loyalty and trust through the years kept us going and will not be forgotten.

Granted, the lyrics in Closing Time are about a bar closing for the night, but some of the lyrics are oh so appropriate:

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's new end."
"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

Thank you.

He's Still Here

2011-10-26T13:11:00.004-04:00

We've all been there. When the twinkle dust of a new relationship settles, the Disney birds flutter away and we're left with the cold, hard fact that our partner, like us, is merely mortal.

Mine is not the toilet-seat-leaving-up kind, but he does have certain habits that make me grit my teeth (witness pie crust edged tongue from over-clenching - ew) and make me mutter to myself because no one on Twitter should have to read such cussing.

Case in point: every day when I shower, I have to first push down the shower head holder so the spray doesn't hit the back wall of the shower and find its way as gentle sprinkles on the toilet paper. That's because of HIM. And every day, he moves it back up. (You'd think we were dealing with a giant here.)

I have more, and they seem petty, so I'll get to my real point. For all of my griping, mostly inward, there is this perspective: These habits are proof that he's still with me. Not in a relationship kind of way, but on this earth.

I would take shower head re-positioning, unfolded towels on rods, coffee table moved within couch reach, spandex bike wear and all the sports channels in the world (okay now I'm listing them) over the alternative: not having him here with me.

He works the night shift but if he happens to catch me in bed in the morning, he always touches the small of my back. I wait for it, half awake, every time. And there it is. Just as comforting is the daily adjustment of the shower head.

He's still here.

It's a Colourful Life

2011-10-24T23:09:00.003-04:00

It's not until my business partner Breanne and I take a step back that we realize how crazy our lives are. In one moment we could be dressed to the nines and discussing code delivery with a client, and in the next we're dressed as clowns and high-tailing it to a gig in one of our Mini Coopers.

We have so many anecdotes, we joke about writing a book. Things like, late night phone calls where one of us says to the other "Quick! Put on the Balooberry costume and slap a moustache on him so we can show our support for Movember!" or "Damn, I'm all out of nose glue. Do you have any?" or "Come on over and let's paint each other over a bottle of wine!" or "These balloon swords are looking disturbingly phallic."

Good times, good times. I no longer remember what normal families do. In the early years of the company, our basement was full of party props we could pull out at a moment's notice. My older children helped out at parties, often dressed in costume. Their friends sometimes helped make bookmarks or stuff jelly bean "swag" bags for a trade show. On the occasional Thursday, my kids and I are still flying down the highway (as fast as you can fly in a Mini), heading to clown practice.

Ah, the photo shoots: Planking in Victoria Park (yep, we're trendy clowns), black light face painting at Elements Night Club with our whole crew, three silly clowns working it for the camera in a studio, and the birthday party of our contest winner. All so memorable.

Most importantly, we've laughed until we've cried. It's a colourful life and I wouldn't trade it for all the sleep in the world. Well, maybe some.

I Telecommute with Clothes On

2011-10-24T07:02:00.003-04:00

For almost eleven years now I've worked from home in Waterloo for a company in Toronto. I am one of many employees of this company who telecommute from all over North America. We program and consult from our desks, attend client meetings on the phone, and travel to the client as needed, which isn't often.

We don't visit each other's cubicles or gather around the water cooler, but we communicate often through phone, e-mail and video conferencing. Technology has enabled us to share information in this very visual work we do.

About ten years ago, Maclean's magazine had an issue with a clearly naked woman lying on her bed, covered only by her laptop. The subject was telecommuting. I was so angry at this portayal of work at home employees and felt the cover hurt the movement toward more employees of this nature, so I wrote to the editor. The letter, indicating I was fully clothed and fully engaged was published.

Here we are ten years later and still the daily commute continues because management feels work must be done in person. Industries where employee performance and accountability are easily measurable are not taking advantage of the tools available today. Offices are still leased and all of the expenses associated with having that office are eventually passed along to consumers. Don't get me started on the environment.

So while resources are being sourced outside the country, wouldn't the real savings be in setting up more "fully clothed" and "fully engaged" telecommuters?

Sanity Saver: The Meal Plan

2011-10-23T09:46:00.003-04:00

If you're a parent, we've visited the same hell known as "meal time." It's that time when coincidentally, you just want to go to sleep after a long day rather than think about what to make for dinner, wonder if you should have defrosted something, and then stand at a stove as your children in constant rotation ask what's for dinner, cry "ewwww!" and then ask if it's ready yet.

I don't claim to be the most organized person, but with a full time job, a small business, three children and a house, I can be cut a bit of slack. Thanks for that. Now I'll share my sanity saver: the Meal Plan.

My Meal Plan is a four week schedule of what's for dinner. The important part here is that I didn't create it alone. I sat down with my children and asked them what their favourite foods were. Mine are older, so we didn't get too many outrageous requests, but I still had to use discretion so not everything was slathered in cheese.

I took the list of suggested entrees and sides and made my four week plan. Then I posted it on the friedge. Because my children were involved in the process, they have automatic buy-in. Now they go to the fridge and squeal when they see what's for dinner. My shoulders have come down an inch. My shopping list is virtually created for me each week.

We do stray from the schedule sometimes if I'm away at dinner time or if the children want a special "eat out" night, but now I'm ready in advance of a meal. The energy draining question of what to make, followed by the usual rejection by the children has been eliminated.

Bon appetit!

What is a Single Parent?

2011-10-21T07:55:00.004-04:00

We hear the term "single parent" and it creates a Pavlovian response of sympathy, as in "he or she has it tougher than everyone else", but really, what is a single parent?

Is it the parent who has single-handedly raised his or her children with no financial or other support from the child's other parent? Is it the the custodial parent who has his or her child most of the time while the other parent has access to the child and provides child support? Do we even need to differentiate?

Raising children with both parents present in the same home is challenging enough.
Now take away a parent and suddenly morning and bedtime routines, appointments, homework, clothes shopping, extra curricular activities, illness, etc. all fall on one parent, for the most part. Now take away a parent altogether and now there are no breaks for the remaining parent (which blows my mind) and no financial support. Add to that no second parent with whom to field questions of health, morals or education.

I know some parents in the last scenario who do it all and I don't know how they are still sane. Some say they prefer it that way but it certainly can't be an easy life.

My own situation has my children with me for half of the week. I miss them terribly when they are not with me but I'm also given that "down time" from parenting to do extra work, chores, errands, etc. The downside is that having a routine is next to impossible, as the children just start getting reminded of their responsibilities when they are gone again. All family business must be addressed in half of the time, leaving little time for just being a family.

Even though I have a partner, he entered into my children's lives when they were older, so the business of raising them (when they are with me) has fallen to me. Still, I don't feel I qualify or have "earned" the title of "single parent."

What is your definition and understanding of a "single parent?"

My Eyes Are Up Here

2011-10-14T23:47:00.006-04:00

Interesting conversations on Twitter tonight around gender stereotypes, many centered around this thought provoking video from MissRepresentation.org. What is our responsibility when it comes to how gender roles are perceived? Is it our fault if our children grow up to believe men are more capable than women when we are inundated day in and day out with that very message? How much control do we have over our children's thoughts when as soon as they are out of our sight they see through all forms of media that women's bodies are the prize?

I grew up believing a man would be my protector and it's been a hard feeling to shake. I am surrounded by images of what my body should look like and only feel I am lacking when I frequent celebrity news sites showing "post baby bump" and "red carpet" pictures or leaf through magazines with endless photoshopped images.

The thinking is that the media and not the people are to blame, but is that accurate? I know that media and marketing push us toward what they think we want to think and feel but which came first in this scenario: the images of toned bodies with large breasts and full lips, or our desire to see/be those things? Futhermore, if we continue to be consumers of the movies,agazines and products that objectify women, can we really blame the media?

I observed a man tweeting that he was incensed to have been left out of a campaign by a large grocery store whose target demographic was women (who, incidentally make 80% of buying decisions). I agreed with him but also thought "if women are so powerful, why are they not using that power to say 'enough!' to gender stereotypical marketing?"

Now let's look at our children who from birth are exposed to the pink or blue world. Is there any hope that our own daily defiance of what they are exposed to as they just try to fit in will have any effect? How exhausting the effort seems to battle image after image from TV, internet, stores and magazines. I may have to quit my day job and don a unitard to battle each inference that my daughters can't be anything or that my son should open his mind to a woman's intelligence rather than her body.

Wealth is Relative

2011-10-01T07:06:00.008-04:00

This week I attended the She's Connected Conference in Toronto. It was by invitation and I was grateful for the experience, not only because of the new and renewed friendships but because I was reminded that material wealth is relative. We were surrounded by brands, drove in a hands-free parking car, and received tons of swag. I was surrounded by smartly dressed women with a varying array of electronic devices.

I think it was the shoe party where the first stark contrast in economies hit hard: a friend stood at the back of a two storey shoe store where music blasted, price tags daunted and a roped red carpet let in only the invited. She was crying because of the helplessness of trying to give aid to a homeless women who not only refused the bag of food offered, she ensured she placed it in front of the shoe store for her donor to see.

Back at the hotel, as we stood outside, we were approached by a raving homeless man who stood two feet from our faces, wanting a cigarette. Normally I would have complied, but I didn't feel safe and told him to go away. With that, he snatched a lit cigarette from my friend's hand and walked away, daring us to call the police. I walked past the shiny new cars to tell hotel stuff what had happened.

While the two worlds of "have a lot" and "have nothing" were glaringly apparent, there was also the world of "woah is me." That world is occupied by those of us who look at what we do not have, instead of looking at what we have. We say we have "no money", but we have our electronic devices and our cars. We had enough to travel and stay in a hotel but not enough to buy the gorgeous shoes or purses.

When we compare our wealth to what we do not have, we are frustrated by our lot in life. We need to find ways to make more money. It is an endless, fruitless pursuit because we will never have it all.

If we compare our wealth to what others do not have, we can almost feel ashamed of the abundance in our lives.

I'm going to work on adjusting my thinking to realize all that I do have, instead of dwelling on what I do not have. It will be a monumental shift in thinking but one that will allow me to enjoy my reality instead of pining for future wealth. I'll bet just one year from now it won't matter that I didn't buy that fringed purse but it will matter that I spent more time with the people who are dear to me.

She's Connected Conference Bound

2011-09-28T08:53:00.002-04:00

Admit it, fellow conference attendees: your first thought after hearing you were going to the She's Connected Conference for Digital Women in Toronto after the intial "squees" was "what will I wear?" followed by "I have to go shopping!" followed by (and here's the ticker) "I hope I'll be accepted."

Now ask yourself this: how many men, upon hearing they are going to a conference hurriedly mark their calendars with all of the dates they WILL go to the gym, decline the dessert menu whilst sucking in their gut, and examine their faces for blemishes?

Why do we do this to overselves, Ladies? We're all on the same team, after all. We are the queens of multi-tasking, and day after day we get 'er done! Let's take a moment over the next couple of days to put aside our hang ups and our fears and enjoy the time away from our daily stresses. Most importantly, let's NOT compare ourselves to anyone else. Instead, let's take a deep collective breath and take in, I mean really take in each other.

We don't get many chances like this. Let it not be seen through a haze of uncertainty and self-consciousness.

P.S. I hope you like my shoes. ;-P

One Commiseration Coming Up!

2011-09-27T14:30:00.007-04:00

In Alexandria Durrell's blog Cool blog. Fierce bite. she writes of feeling overwhelmed and then produces an impressive list of tasks in a day in the life. Alex (also known as @Clippo on Twitter) asks for commiseration. This is my Day in the Life:

Wake up to blessedly quiet house.
Make instant coffee because Tassimo pods are all gone.
Clean up dog's accident in the dining room because she doesn't like going out through her doggy door in the rain.
Tweet and Facebook - excellent for networking and said commisserating. But try explaining that to family and friends who miss you.
Husband-to-be returns home from night shift and raises eyebrow at me sitting in garage in robe, smoking, sipping coffee, laptopping. (We like to repeat this ritual every morning.)
12 year old daughter asks me to sign form.
16 year old son says his bus pass expired.
Remind children of wart doctor appointment after school.
Shower. Skip shaving legs if romance unanticipated.
Start work as Senior Consultant either from home (most days) or after two minute drive to office.
Feel hunger pangs and wish Boost had been purchased.
First meeting of the day.
Receive reminder that time tracking was not completed from week before.
Hullabaloo and Bre Creative inquiries start to come in via e-mail and voicemail. With quotes, schedules and invoices to be created after the workday has ended, I remind myself of the intranet I promised I would build to eliminate these manual processes. Add said task to neverending To Do spreadsheet but do not fill in completion date.
Call mother and answer e-mails while dog barks madly in background at mailman's nerve to show his face again.
Work, work, work.
Respond to travel plans for upcoming client meeting and realize the dates collide with children's extra curricular activities and social media event. I'll deal with that later.
Attend next meeting that runs over lunch. Inhumane but sometimes I can whip up a lunch, all the while checking that my phone is on mute.
Work, work, work.
19 year old daughter texts me that I'm not answering my phone. The phone I'm on for my meeting. Will I drive her to the student housing office? This is the child who moved out a year ago to be independent.
Father calls to ask if I've printed the photos from a photoshoot a year and a half ago. I have not. He says "no problem."
Time to run to the children's wart appointment while monitoring e-mail and phone calls. Mental note to book annual physical while there because I can never get through by phone.
Children ask to buy chocolate bar after "horrible" wart treatment. I throw debit card at them as I respond to a call and remind person that he or she should have been treating his or her feet. Oops.
Race home to make dinner using handy dandy new menu schedule, only to find key ingredient a.k.a. "food" is missing. Order pizza and hope it arrives in time for music lessons departure.
Miss business partners calls and BBMs regarding upcoming gig. She wings it and says I would be more than happy to dress like a freaking princess and do balloon twisting while singing Yankee Doodle Dandy and roller blading on a snowhill.
Back home from music lessons and realize that vowed daily after dinner walk with dogs did not take place.
Son takes shower and uses my towel.
Daughter is reminded to empty dishwasher.
Son wears said towel to take out garbage and recycling.
New neighbour meets him on driveway and asks if he can use our internet to look up a number because he's locked out.
I go over to new neighbour a short time later to apologize for son saying he didn't know our internet password.
Open daughter's door and see her cleaning out rat cage. That cage gets more love than her room.
Creep into son's room to find mountain of abandoned towels intermingled with guitars and random pop cans.
Uncork the wine and greet it as "Honey."
Realize I still have quotes to write and party supply shopping list to create.
Stare at bleak kitchen cupboards and vow they will meet their destiny with my paintbrush.
Cook husband-to-be's dinner that he'll consume in the middle of the night at work.
Retire to garage for some down time where DH2B will swear in the morning I've been all night.
Tweet and Facebook my little heart out until the late hour signals it's bedtime. Then stay up one more hour.

That's a Day in the Life! How about you?

Announcement: Manager of Operations

2011-09-19T07:49:00.003-04:00

Was it four years ago that Hullabaloo Party Planner for Children was born? We have become a two owner, six helper company with diverse offerings and a strong following of repeat families. This growth has required us to take a look at how to best manage the activities at Hullabaloo with the acknowledgement that we can longer do it alone.

We are thrilled to announce the promotion of one of our party hosts, Cathy Lapar to the position of Manager of Operations for Hullabaloo. Cathy has proven her tireless energy, patience and flexibility again and again. The decision to move Cathy to this position came to us easily and at a time when we needed someone else to coordinate the birthday parties so we could focus on the growth of the business. That business includes our sister company, Bre Creative.

Hullabaloo Party Planner for Children will be known as Hullabaloo Birthdays going forward. The focus will be on what has been this company's strength: providing in-home birthday party packages. All other activities, custom events such as corporate family picnics and Christmas parties, charitable events, family reunions, wedding receptions, etc. will be moved entirely to Bre Creative.

We hope you'll join us in wishing Cathy great success in her new role!

9-11 Means Act Now

2011-09-10T19:49:00.004-04:00

Recently I hosted a birthday party for an adult friend. It was a Hallowe'en theme and I thought a fortune teller would be a nice touch - that is, until I went to pay her for her services for the evening. I myself had not had a sitting with her, but she felt it necessary to warn me. I pause here to remind the reader that the "foretelling" was neither requested nor desired. Nevertheless, the seer went on to tell me that having met with several members of my family, she needed to tell me that something horrible was going to happen in the next little while.

I'm going to share that I'm suspicious that she may have been looking for me to book a session with her. I was certainly incented, after hearing that. Who wouldn't want to know more. But clearer head prevailed the next morning and I have no inclination to follow up. It's not that I believe or don't believe in fortune telling. It's that I already know that horrible things can happen at any time and without warning.

This brings me to 9-11. I don't consider myself the sharpest knife in the drawer, so others picked up on the incredible irony of the date of the attack on the US before I did: 9/11 or 911. To me, both the numbers we dial in an emergency and the events that unfolded 10 years ago mean the same thing: Act Now.

Do not believe you have days, weeks or months ahead to right a wrong, spend time with your family or start that business. Act now. Imagine life without yourself or any one person in it and do now what you thought you had a lifetime to do. This is the procrastinator's nightmare: the thought that there isn't actually all the time in the world to take action on something. Act now.

If the fortune teller is right, I'm about to face something horrible. Let it happen with my knowing that up until that moment, the business of living was well run and profitable.

The Fine Art of the ASVP (you heard me)

2011-09-10T19:02:00.003-04:00

I have long lamented on my own behalf and the behalf of countless parents the ridiculousness that is the RSVP. It is incredibly rude and discourteous, especially in this age of multiple communication channels, to not respond to an invitation to a party. By not doing so, you are leaving the party host with uncertain numbers and I don't just mean number of people attending. It costs money to have a party. A maybe or no reply at all means you or your child may actually show up and allowances for this must be made.

I thought failing to RSVP was the greatest crime.

But then there's "ASVP", which I made up and is intended to mean "Arrivez, s'il vous plait" or "why don't you do us all a favour and actually show up to the event you said you were attending." I can't tell you the number of loot bags, uneaten pizza slices, etc. that are a result of party guests who do not follow through with their promise of attending. Don't even get me started on wedding guests and how much their absence costs.

Life happens, especially with children who can go from sunny and happy to barfy and miserable in a matter of minutes. To the parents, we offer our sincerest hopes for a speedy recovery and total understanding. But hell hath no fury like the party host who was given a definite "yes", only to be left with a definite "I don't respect you enough to even offer an excuse why we didn't show up."

Please, for the love of civilization: if you say you are attending, do us all one little favour and ASVP.

This Isn't Your Feel Good Post

2011-09-09T08:05:00.003-04:00

I never liked the expression "there but by the grace of God go I." It suggests the those who were victims of some horrible misfortune did not have God watching over them. Likewise, people who say they were "lucky" that the same tragedy didn't strike them would suggest others were "unlucky."

Grace and luck have nothing to do with being alive and healthy. Ask parents of children with cancer. This is where you tune out because no one wants to hear about cancer and certainly not cancer that ravages and often steals our children (myself included). Maybe if we don't think or talk about it, it won't happen to us. Where's that wood to knock on?

We hear a lot about fundraising for breast cancer with its bright pink and talk of "boobs." Men's health has a fun event like Movember where men grow moustaches for the month of November to raise money and awareness. These have been extremely successful charitable causes because as adults who face adult cancers ourselves or with those we love it's politically correct to make "feel your boobs" or "bend over" jokes, if it means people are getting checked.

It's very difficult to apply the same campaigning to childhood cancers. No one, not one person wants to see a child with cancer, let alone think about it or try to turn it into a catchy, quirky fundraiser. Better not to even allow the thought of the possibility of this striking home to enter our minds, or it could become our own horrible reality.

How about this new thinking: prevent childhood cancers by THINKING about them. Better still, find out what you can do to help. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Today, I'm thinking about Darrel and those he left behind when he was only seven, and I'm hatching a plan. Stay tuned.

Change is Scary. Being Forgotten is Scarier

2011-09-07T22:58:00.004-04:00

You might think I eat, think and breathe children's parties around the clock (okay, maybe I do), but there's a whole other side to me. My English degree only made me annoying to the friends I corrected, so at age 27 I went back to school and became a programmer. 17 years later and over 10 years into my current job, I was offered a position with the same company that would take me away from coding and into ... the Customer Success Team (gulp).

There has been stress in my new role as I am having to quickly ramp up my knowledge of the software and what is expected of me. But the greater stress by far has been leaving behind a job I felt I was really good at, and with it the clients and co-workers I took pride in having nurtured solid relationships.

As I help to transition others to my clients I have this feeling of protectiveness for the clients, like I need to impart exactly how they need to be treated. Maybe I shouldn't leave them. Maybe I should stay in my comfort zone and keep them "protected" at the same time.

Or worse - what if everyone is fine without me and life goes on?

Right now I feel like the conquering hero, doing knowledge transfers and jumping in as needed. But eventualy my co-workers won't need me anymore and the phones that rings with my clients at the other end will be theirs.

Change is scary. Being forgotten is scarier.

First Day of School? Not Here

2011-09-06T08:49:00.002-04:00

While I am thrilled to see the first day of school and the end to the day-long complaints of "I'm bored" (strangely no one understood my response of "I'm not Julie, the Cruise Director!"), this is also a melancholy and guilt-ridden time for me and for many divorced parents.

This kind of guilt first started when my youngest daughter started school and her newly separated Dad and I united to take her for her first day. We both snapped pictures of her standing proudly in front of the name of her school. It wasn't until I got home that I realized the camera I borrowed my boyfriend had no film (remember film?). I took it as a sign: a sign that I was being punished for depriving this little girl of her unified family.

Nine years ago, I was once again in the position of being a separated parent but this time (through lessons learned) it was amicable. My estranged (weird word) husband and I were determined to have as much security for our three shared children that you could possible have in two houses on streets that touched.

The arrangement has always been that he has the children for the first half of the week. This means every Sunday night, all day Monday and Tuesday, and every Wednesday morning I don't see what they are doing and how they are faring. It also means I always miss the morning excitement on that first day of the school year.

I see the school buses go by and I look at the proud pictures parents post on Facebook and Twitter and I am sad. I know it's the life I "chose" but to all the parents who say I'm "lucky" I get a break (from my kids) I say "It's not 'luck' to miss half of your child's life. It's not 'luck' to miss every first day of school. But it is my good fortune that I have them in my heart each and every minute."

Thinking Suicide? Picture This.

2011-09-05T10:29:00.002-04:00

When I was in driver training, we watched a very powerful movie about a guy who drove drunk and died but throughout the movie he witnessed the aftermath of his death. He saw his funeral, his grieving family - we all felt his regret over his actions. But it was too late to do anything about it. He was gone.

Now picture this: you are suicidal. You think the world would be better without you, or no one wuld really miss you, or the pain of being alive is just too much to bear.

So you take your life.

Picture this: someone had the horror of finding you.

Picture this: news of your death spreads and for a short time there is "glory" in the remembrances, the eulogies, your Facebook wall is covered (oh, but you can't respond and eventually your profile may or may not be taken down), there is shock on Twitter and like the morbid fascination with a car accident people are suddenly following you by the thousands (but you can't follow them back).

Picture this: every person who ever loved you is now left with an emptiness that will never be filled; regrets over things said or not said, things done or not done.

Picture this: those closest to you are left to deal with the clean up of your financial matters, your personal items, your unread mail.

Picture this: if you have children, their lives will be forever and horribly altered. They will still find joy but it will not be as full. They may blame themselves or wonder why they weren't good enough for you to stay. Holidays will be a painful reminder of your absence.

Picture this: life goes on without you. Oh sure, people will still remember you fondly, but many will also feel betrayal and will push you to the far reaches of their memory. You will come up fewer times in conversation. Past memories of you will be largely replaced by new memories of a life that continued despite your death.

Picture this: family events, parties with friends, new foods, new technologies, new relationships, new births, new movies, new songs, new rainbows and sunsets: all these will continue to occur because life stood still for only a moment when you died.

Now picture this: you reached out and people helped you remember that no matter what space you occupy in this world, you are invaluable. And your life found new meaning and new hope. And so you stayed. Thank you for staying.

Crisis Numbers:
1-800-273-TALK (US)
1-800-232-7288 (Canada)
911

Warning Signs

7 New School Year Resolutions

2011-09-05T08:38:00.006-04:00

I used to welcome a new semester or school year, way back in the day because it was a fresh start: a chance to right the old wrongs, to be relieved that the old burdens were gone and to have a new determination that this was going to be my best set of classes ever!

Shiny new binders, a stack of paper, pens, a geometry set (we never used the triangle ruler) and highlighters sat at the ready. My handwriting in the first three minutes back to school was stellar!

Now as two of my children prepare for grades 7 and 11 (my eldest is in university), I feel the need to make resolutions to help make this their best year ever, but it isn't just about school supplies: it's also about being healthier and my being better organized so they are positioned for success. Here is my list:

1. Homework at the kitchen table: this way I am right there if they need me and I can keep an eye on their progress. It'll also be a nice bonding time and I can use that time to do make ahead meals and baking. (envisioning awards show where I get shiny medal)

2. Walks after dinner. This is great stress reliever and calorie burner. I won't feel as bad about what my kids are eating (but it will be great - see point above) and they'll sleep better too.

3. Adequate socks and underwear WILL be at the ready! I already disposed of "sock mountain" in our laundry room - the pile of orphaned socks.

4. This year my son will learn proper grammar and spelling. His handwriting will improve to the point where it is legible. I swear this to you on my English degree. His other marks were 88 to 97 so he's got the smarts, but if he can't communicate he'll struggle his whole life.

5. Books. We are a family sadly lacking in books. I woke up this morning realizing I have set a bad example in this area although I used to be an avid reader - before life set in.

6. A meal plan. I had a lovely four week, rotating meal plan that I abandoned over a year ago because the kids were being so picky and I got so busy. It's coming back and these teens are going to be part of the planning, preparation and clean up!

7. After school snacks will not all be store bought garbage! I will slice a cucumber, put peanut butter on celery and place them in open view and wait.

That's MY list. What's yours?

Adult Parties = Pushing the Envelope

2011-09-04T08:37:00.003-04:00

When I planned birthday parties for my children, there was no limit to the creativity of the project, with the exception of my tiny "client", my birthday child who would sometimes try to reign in my zeal. I sometimes felt I was getting more out of the experience of the party than all of the party guests combined. But that can be a good thing when we're talking planning birthday parties that are, for most parents, something to be feared and dreaded.

When I started my own children's party planning business, it was an eye opener to realize there would be limitations to what I could do. Financially, I could justify the expense of elaborate props because they could be re-used. I couldn't so that with my own children's parties. At the same time, I had to maintain a budget in order to justify the business.

When it came to planning activities, I couldn't include games like "bobbing for apples and speading your germs." I suddenly had clients' potentially more cautious ideas of what a party should and should not include for their children. No balloons, for fear their youngest would choke, was one parent's concern. No chocolate for fear of allergies was another. (We still include balloons but ensure they are secured and out of reach of little ones, but chocolate is out.)

Now that I am planning a party for my business partner, the gloves are once again off and the sky is the limit. I'm throwing every imaginable curve ball into this event whose theme is one of my favourites: Hallowe'en. With an adult party, it's okay to be grotesque and scary. Very few will cry if they don't get a "pwize." No one will ask me if the skeleton is real or will say "no snakes - my husband won't eat for two days."

I can also push the envelope when it comes to what's considered appropriate or inappropriate, as in the case of our costume contest. Bottles of body parts will adorn tables. There will be a gruesome murder scene. Refreshing in its daring, the whole planning experience has rejuvenated and reminded me of why I love to plan parties: to see the fruits of my labour, even if it's in the form of shock and awe.

To follow along with the fun September 9th starting at 8 PM, use the hashtag #scarybre26 on Twitter or go to Visible Tweets.

When It Rains...

2011-08-15T17:54:00.005-04:00

When it rains, it pours and we're loving it! Just this month alone we've been asked to be a part of the momstown 4th birthday celebrations in Kitchener-Waterloo and Hamilton (love to!), approached to offer Dairy Queen cakes with our parties (um, yes!) and received a $50 gift card from Elixir Bistro in Cambridge for a draw (gratitude!).

We'd like to think we are sending out positive vibes and our infectious thirst for fun wherever we can find it is drawing people to Hullabaloo and our sister company, Bre Creative.

Whatever the reason for it, we are deeply appreciative of those who are including us in the story of their own business success. We hope to grow together, to learn from each other and ultimately to celebrate our mutual successes.

Here's to partnerships and the spirit of entrepreneurship!

Happy Birthday to Us...Happy Contest for YOU!

2011-07-30T09:08:00.003-04:00

It's been almost four years since the dream became a reality. Hullabaloo Party Planner for Children was born in a dining room/office with my children huddled around offering suggestions for everything from the company name to the logo. We came up with the name "Hullabaloo" and a blue hippo mascot that my son drew. That hippo would later get the name "Balooberry" as Lisa McDonald (@those2girls on Twitter) won the naming contest.

As the number of party themes increased, so too did the number of storage bins and shelving units. A home office in the basement was born and in January of this year, my new business partner Breanne Cram (@bre_creative) joined me in that office. We brought Hullabaloo and Bre Creative together under a new corporation, Parallela Inc. (Just ask her about my parallel parking and our easy symmetry to understand the name.)

We celebrate our collaboration, Hullabaloo's 4th birthday and Bre Creative's 1st birthday with a contest like no other we've previously offered: Breanne's stunning face painting talent, my "enthusiastic" balloon twisting, hand-made invitations, beautiful decorations, cute costume accessories, more-fun-than-they-can-handle games (with prizes for everyone, ahem) and of course the gift baskets, I mean quality loot bags. (Seriously, I'm very proud of the work I put into them.)

These elements all come together for a memorable event in your own home and fabulous photo opportunities.

Excited? Just shoot us an e-mail at info@parallela.ca and tell us why your family deserves this great prize, valued at over $400. Good Luck!

Contest ends August 4th, 2011. Winner announced August 5th. By entering, you agree to obtain permission from your guests' parents for us to photograph the event and use the pictures in our promotinal materials. Party must take place before August 5th, 2012.

Are Party Planners Like Triathletes?

2011-07-11T07:31:00.003-04:00

I spent this past weekend in Peterborough, Ontario at a triathlon where my partner, Rob was competing. In sweltering heat, these athletes took to the open water (an intimidating feat in itself as fatalities have occurred and let's face it - the water is dark, deep and unpredictable). Then they raced up the hill to the transition area whilst trying to peel off their wetsuit (I hear a full coating of bag balm on said body helps with that) and the crowd cheered them on.

They sped around the park, all the while facing the possibility of a horrendous crash, and then quickly changed shoes for the run, panting as they went.
At the finish line, one woman was bemoaning her race results while those around her loudly and happily decried her disappointment: "YOU FINISHED!" they gleefully declared. I looked on and thought the same thing. See, for those of us who aren't athletes, any one of the feats of strength and stamina that they endured makes these people heroes in our eyes.

We couldn't picture being able to do this ourselves. Heck, IF I made it through the water part I'd still be flopping around on the ground, stuck in the wetsuit. This stuff is second nature to most who have trained and competed for years.
This brings me to the precarious comparison between a party planner and a triathlete. When the party is over, parents are incredibly grateful and in awe and it's because the feat of throwing a party for their child was seriously daunting. Sometimes I'm taken aback by the praise because I have to remember that this was something the parents couldn't picture doing themselves.

For us, the party planners, it's a great victory but it's something we've been training for and practising for years until it's instinctual. From the moment we arrive at an event until the moment we leave, that instinct kicks in. We don't ever have to deal with a mouthful of lake water, skinning our knees or heat exhaustion. But every event brings a new challenge to overcome, whether it be a crying child who lost a game or a parent who is late bringing out the food.

I should seriously have better abs after all of these events. ;-P

Take a moment a revel in your strengths because someone out there is in awe. When you realize that what you bring to the table really makes a difference, it gives you the strength to push on. And finish.

Favourite Movies with Birthdays!

2011-07-04T19:16:00.008-04:00

Any movie with a birthday scene cannot help but add cheer as we are reminded of our own important day. Here are some of my favourite birthday scenes.

Who wouldn't love an Uncle Buck who goes all out for you on your special day? (hey, when you're only parenting for a few days, it's easy to have all that energy!) How about the handling of the clown? Nobody messes with Uncle Buck. Nobody.

Happy Birthday, Miles

The dreaded pinata! If you've ever had success with one of these suckers then you deserve a medal! The helium scene falls under the category of "don't try this at home." We mean it. Don't.

Unbreakable Pinata & a Mouthful of Helium

"We ate za cake." "Do the roar." Typical birthday party! ;-)

Do the Roar!

"It was my best birthday ever coach." Too bad it took a live snake and an overinflated jumpy castle for it to happen. Wouldn't every party be save if you a football team on hand?

Best Party Ever

Perfect Summer Theme: Survivor!

2011-07-01T09:37:00.004-04:00

Summer weather begs you to have your child's birthday party outdoors and what better theme to have than "Survivor?" Here's how to make this theme happen with items from your local dollar store!

Invitations: you can find interesting wooden containers, some with a leather strap. Make your invitation on parchment paper and slip it into one of these. Right away your guests get a sense of the fun ahead!

Decorations: you want to transform the area into a lush jungle which you can accomplish with a variety of fake greenery, tikis, stuffed or plastic jungle creatures, grass skirts (cut at the waist and spread on the ground). Leis curled up add beatuful colour easily.

Costumes: buffs (handkerchiefs) in colours for each tribe can be worn by your guests, along with shell jewelry, temprary tattoos, leis and war paint. (make sure you use good quality face faints)

Food: jungle juice, coconut milk, skewers of tropical fruit, meats and vegetables (not together!)

Cake: slab cake turned into tropical island by cutting off rounded sections. Use brown sugar for sand and blue jello for water.

Games: obstacle course, cocoon wrap (with toilet paper), hula hoop race, coin drop in bucket, word find, limbo, snake race (two lines of kids with a balloon at the front, passed through the legs to the one behind), tug-of-war on logs, treasure hunt, net catch (who can catch the most plastic fruit, jungle stuffies in a butterfly net)
You can incorporate some water fun, but make sure the invitation says to bring a bathing suit and towel.
Instead of having eliminations, you can award prizes to the winning tribe after each challenge. If the winning seems lop-sided, you may need to offer consolation prizes, or even switch up some tribe members. The kids are having so much fun though, rewards may not even be necessary.

We play the games in all kinds of weather, even light rain, but be prepared to move the activities indoors if it gets really bad.

It's More Than a Business

2011-06-04T09:28:00.006-04:00

When I started my children's party planning company almost four years ago, I was able to include my own children right from the start. Whether it was with assembling loot bags, shopping for supplies or even having the older ones get into costume and help with parties, I was still able to spend time with them while building the business. But quality time that it was, it was still work.
Since joining Brant Clown Alley, I have discovered a new way of including my children in my profession: Brant Entertainers Skills Time, or B.E.S.T. Children twelve and up are welcome to come out to every Thursday for free to join the "pros" and learn/practise new skills such as juggling, unicycling, the diabolo, stilts, face painting, balloon twisting and magic. It's become a whole new way for them to expand their horizons, move outside of themselves and face new challenges. My son, who is almost 16, was so shy the first night but he took to the juggling right away. His face beamed with pride. Who knew he was also watching the boys using diabolos? It was a delight to take him (at his insistence) to Kind of Magic in Waterloo where Wilber and Phil welcomed us and got us outfited with juggling balls and a diabolo.
I carted three children to the next B.E.S.T. which is held in a park during the warmer months. What a magical evening!
To see pictures of that night, go here.
Brant Entertainers Skills Time meets every Thursday through the summer at Alexandra Park in Brantford from 7 to 9 PM, weather permitting. Indoor location is close by at Heritage Church

Less of a Parent?

2011-03-23T23:42:00.004-04:00

The first time I realized my children really were growing up and their time with me was limited was when my third and last child didn't need me to go trick-or-treating with her. It was like a blow to the stomach to find out that this annual event was no more. Hallowe'en was my second favourite holiday, next to Christmas and without trick-or-treating I might as well don a robe and slippers and shuffle to the door to dole out candy.
It was in that moment, that moment when I realized childhood eventually ends that I felt like less of a parent - less of a mom.
So much that goes on in social media that's directed at parents speaks to parents of small children. I'm on the outside looking in. No, I don't want to enter that contest for the swim diapers. No, I don't want to read about the stroller recall or how to decide if French immersion is right for my child.
I want to find out how other moms talked to their daughters about the dreaded Aunt Flo (maybe by not calling it that). How other parents struggled with finding their eldest daughter had been drinking. What can I do to encourage my teenaged son to be physically active without making him feel put down about his weight?
Tweet after tweet and wall post after wall post I seek out parents who are still parenting - even if their children are no longer keeping them up at night or dressing up for Hallowe'en. We are no less of a parent. But it sure can be lonely.

Handing Over the Trust

2011-03-21T21:52:00.004-04:00

I recently had the chance to try ziplining, rapelling and snorkelling in a cinote (underground cave with water). This was in Mexico, for a trip I won, AND it was my birthday. Maybe that combination set the stage for me to be open to experiencing these new, scary things.
All I know is, when I ascended the wooden stairs of the tower to do the first zipline, I was handing over the trust. Handing it to our guide Roberto. Handing it to the tour operator. In that moment, the fear was replaced by excitement. I went on to love every minute of that and the rapelling without hesitation.
In the cinote, I lost that feeling for a moment. I thought we were supposed to dive under the stalactites that hit the water. I couldn't breathe. In THAT moment, I learned to breathe. The panic went away.
A little while after that I was snorkelling in Akumel to see the turtles. The waves were high and relentless and the fear returned. Once again, I made myself breathe and the panic went away.
At my birthday party back home this past Saturday, I had such a thrill when there were snakes, lizards, and even a tarantula to hold. I handed over the trust and by doing so, I could totally enjoy the experience: the touch, the look, even the smell.
What have the past couple of weeks taught me? By handing over the trust and remembering to breathe I can live, really live every moment of my life.

It's a Whole New World!

2011-02-02T09:47:00.007-05:00

These are exciting days for us at Hullabaloo as we have entered into a "dream come true" partnership with Bre Creative and formed the corporation lovingly known as "Parallela Inc" (sung to "Black and Yellow - the clean version). Parallela got its name from the many parallels in the lives and thinking of the two Directors, Breanne Cram and Michelle Peer. It also brings up fond memories of attempted parallel parking before a Brant Clown Alley event. There was much laughter which is exactly what we want to see in our business. The last part of the name, "ella" comes from Parallela being the umbrella company.

So what does all of this mean for Hullabaloo? It means we continue to provide fabulous in-home birthday parties and the Bre Creative side of the company will manage special requests such as character appearances, face painting, balloon twisting and magic at both family and corporate events.

It means we can pool our resources and talents to be the best we can be in this industry. We thank you for your support of Hullabaloo and know the future's so bright we have to wear clown glasses!

The Parallela launch party will be an online event on February 26th from 8 to 9 PM. We have some great prizes already lined up but welcome more sponsors! You can find out more and RSVP here on Facebook: Parallela Launch Party OR use the hashtag #paralaunch on Twitter!
Finally, if you are an entertainment professional in the area of face painting/body art, balloon twisting or magic, you will want to be at our Jam Day on February 27th from 1 to 4 PM at The Museum. Details are here on Facebook: Jam Day at The Museum

In a Heartbeat

2011-01-10T18:42:00.002-05:00

This morning I was faced, for the third time, with reading ominous words of farewell from someone online. And for the third time I felt my limbs go cold and my eyes burn. In all of the cases, I had no direct way of contacting the person. One was a distant relative who said her goodbyes on her Facebook wall and then went silent. I called people who were closer to her and they found her to be fine. A bit groggy from the night before, feeling a bit silly, but fine. She removed the post right away.

The second was someone I heard about on Twitter. Others were asking for help in contacting this woman in the States who had written that she was done with this world and for someone to please take care of her husband. I was vaulted into action. I found her on Facebook and started to frantically search through her friends until finally I found a young man with her last name. I messaged him. Incredibly he messaged me back, at first saying his mother wasn't answering the phone. And then, that he had reached her and she was okay. Just sad about her life.

What happened next on Twitter goes beyond schoolyard bullying. This woman was chastised by so many for "scaring them", for the "attention grab" and other ridiculous comments. One woman claimed she had been up since 2 AM worrying and she was 5 months pregnant. She felt cheated and lied to. Why, because the woman didn't end up killing herself?

When someone says online that they are done with this world, they are reaching out. How horrible that we would make such a moment about ourselves.

Then there was today. I know and like this woman. So when someone on Twitter asked for any update on her, the alarm bells went off. Her last tweet was much like what the other two had said. My head silently screamed "NO!" and there was a flurry of activity with others, trying to find out if anyone had or could contact her.

I had only a business number and there was no response. I called the police. I had no address so they said they would have my local police come over and start an investigation. I said I understood procedure but I was worried about my friend. Frantically, as the police waited on the phone, I searched for an address. It was the wrong one. The police entered the wrong home and then informed the wrong husband that his wife was suicidal. Fuck.

Then an online friend gave me the proper address and I called the police back.

The woman is fine. As fine as you be when you were in such a state that you told the world that you were done with it. I'm not fine. I'm drained, I'm sad that I wasn't able to handle this effectively and that it created trauma for some.

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

How I Became a Clown (Guest Blog!)

2011-01-07T14:33:00.007-05:00

My journey to become a clown started 3.5 years ago when I had my first child. My Aunt has been a clown for 11 years and she encouraged me to also become a clown to work for myself and earn some extra income. She kept assuring me that I could do it even though I've never felt like a particularly creative person. Just over 3 years later I (finally) joined her for a face painting jam she was hosting in her home for a small group of people. Most of us were newbies. I surprised myself! I was able to think outside the box and the painting wasn't all that bad, for my first time.

Shortly after that I attended the annual Clowns Canada Carnivale where I learned more about face painting, simple magic, basic balloon twisting and glitter tattoos. More importantly, the attendees were very open about sharing their experiences and answering questions. It was a great learning experience and I was pumped to start my own gig. I created my website and got a phone number and email account. Now what? Luckily I had my Aunt to guide me and she very generously invited me to attend a birthday party with her. There I learned how to put my magic into a show suitable for young children. I now had the confidence to take the plunge - I put up a free ad on the internet. I got responses!!

I was so nervous for my very first birthday party - a 5 year old girl with 20 friends and cousins. It was a huge success - there were smiling faces everywhere and lots of laughing. The time absolutely flew by and the smiles and laughter were on my face, too. What a FUN "job"!! Since then the jobs have been steadily coming in. I get nervous before each and every party or event, just as nervous as the first time. But at the end of them all I can say the same thing, "Where did the time go? I'm pooped and had so much fun!"

Sarah (a.k.a. "Pickles the Clown") lives in Barrie with her husband, daughter and silly little dog. When she's not clowning, she likes studying Endo-molecular biology.
Pickles The Clown serves Barrie, Ontario and the surrounding area and may be reached at 705.828.6284 or visit her website at www.picklestheclown.ca.
See you at the next Clown Carnivale, Pickles!

New Year's Rezzies

2010-12-31T10:21:00.002-05:00

Resolutions are made because throughout the year we get so caught up in just existing that we continuously put off what needs to change. The start of a new year is a natural moment in time to start afresh. We can procrastinate about making change all year long and tell ourselves that we will make that list for the new year. Then we don't have to do anything about it until then.
This year it's not about finally making it to the gym (who, by the way is MOST welcome for my monthly donation), or quitting smoking (kicked that in the BUTT in 2010!) or paying off debt (I have become accustomed to the lifestyle of indebtedness ): It is about identifying what's stopping me from moving forward and then doing something about it. Still with me? Here we go!

1) Feel the fear and do it anyway. I bought the book for the title alone and never really read it. The title is a great mantra. I may never know if the book is a great read. I will step out of my comfort zone unless my gut starts to scream a la Meg Ryan in French Kiss "LACTOSE INTOLERANT!" I will take that as a clear sign that I need to take one step back and THEN I can take two steps forward.

2) When I am paralyzed with anxiety I will ask myself in that moment what is stopping me. I will break the goal down into tinier, less intimidating tasks until I am done. I started doing that this year with myself and my children. Case in point:
Me: "Daughter, clean your room."
Daughter (whining): "I wiiiiiilll"
Me: "What's stopping you? Is it too much? Do you want help?"
Daughter: "Yes!"
I'm not going to go so far as to say she cleaned her room, but I stepped out of my usual M.O. to break down what was stopping her and we did get through some of it together. The rest I did myself but we will file that under "A Moment for Quiet Reflection."

3) I will congratulate/reward myself for my accomplishments. I spend too much time reminding myself of all I didn't do and all that I am not. I want to devote more time to giving myself a proverbial pat on the back. This will take the form of "shopping just for the heck of it" and other activities that remind me I'm a girly girl who deserves some girly girl moments. There will be a reward for all of my hard work and I will get to see why I am working so hard. I will be re-energized.

4) LISTS! Oh yes, I will make the lists. The lists are my daily check-in that I am on track. They stop me from waking up in a panic at 4 AM (see the TEDx video on 4 AM) with a fiery arrow to my heart that I have forgotten something. I mock my Dad for having little yellow sticky notes all around the perimeter of his monitor so we'll just have to keep my list-making between us. Good.

5) Finally...SOUL NURTURING! I will identify and revel in what makes my soul sing. We all need a little soul singing in the key of "I love me", once in a while. Especially in February: bright colours, bright lights, music with a solid beat, dancing, singing, family, friends, scents and tastes to enliven the lazy senses. And humor. Daily injections of frivolity. This soul nurturing will be like an neti pot to my blocked thought processes. My creativity will flow like...okay we're done with that metaphor.

Huge Hippo Hugs to the Helpers

2010-12-12T18:24:00.004-05:00

Wow, what a year! In our third year, Hullabaloo has seen some fantastic partners join our parties such as Bre Creative, Pawley's Reptiles and Bears 'n' Buddies. We have grown our roster of themes to include Star Wars, Harry Potter and Superheroes. Our list of helpers has doubled to meet the demand. I sit here near the end of 2010, reflecting on this past weekend which included our last corporate event of the year. Almost 100 children in total wore big smiles because they loved the face paint, balloon animal, games, crafts, Becca the Princess or our hippo mascot, Balooberry.

Through it all, these parties are my labour of love but also through it all I've seen my helpers GIVE their all. In the hour before a party they rush to blow up balloons, arrange scenery, lay out costume accessories, and set up the craft table. In the first thirty minutes of a party these helpers welcome the little guests and invite them to have face painting, tattoos, to try on something or maybe work on a craft. It's high gear and high pressure: no two parties are the same and they manage to adjust quickly to any demand.

The helpers run the games, belting out instructions with enthusiasm and ensuring every child's prize is labelled and put aside for home time.

Ahhh, home time: the flurry of reclaiming costume accessories and ensuring everyone gets his or her loot bag, thank you bookmark, and prizes. There are parents to add to the frenzy but again the helpers keep their cool and keep the situation under control.

Clean up is a rapid, organized effort so we can get out of the family's hair as quickly as possible. We try our hardest to pack up everything we brought, but sometimes we find a return visit and quick "hello" is necessary to collect an errant item.

I spend hours in preparation before a party even starts. It's hard work. But my helpers have only a brief moment in time to make an impression. They come through for me over and over again. If 2010 is a hint at things to come in 2011, I say bring it on - and HUGE HIPPO HUGS to my helpers (past and present) for getting us here.

My New Space

2010-10-28T00:04:00.003-04:00

It's been a long time coming, but I finally have a beloved work space. On your left, you'll see a big desk where I do my Monday to Friday (and then some) work as a Senior Consultant, telecommuting for almost ten years. On your right is a big IKEA work bench laden with face paints and craft supplies.
It took having my 18 year old move onward and upward (and out of the house!) to university to free up the space. I sold off all the power tools I was finally resigned to not using to free up space in the garage for party supplies, stacked high in bins on shelving units. Another room, in the basement, houses more delicate party decorations.
But it's my work space that is the piece de resistance: shelves of loot bag contents, candy bins, prizes for every theme - everything now within arms reach.
I come from a cute office space built into the dining room closet and the dining room table as my craft area. When it was dinner time, I would clear everything into a laundry basket, only to retrieve it again to prepare for the party the following day.
A cluttered space is a cluttered mind and my mind is revelling in the new spaciousness and structure.

The Fine Art of RSVP-ing

2010-07-05T08:08:00.004-04:00

When I go over invitation details with parents and we discuss the RSVP date, I'm often met with a big sigh from the Mom or Dad. Parents are notoriously bad at responding to a child's birthday invitation. As a Party Planner, I ask for the final number two days before the party. I need this time to build the decorative loot bags, thank you bookmarks, etc. Sadly, the parents have to give me a give-or-take number and may end up having to pay for more children than actually attend, simply because they did not get responses.

We've all been there. A party invitation is lost at the bottom of a napsack, only to be discovered the day before said party, or a parent calls you, asking if your child will be at the party and you've forgotten to RSVP, or children tell each other they will be at the party but it doesn't get passed along to the hosting parent.

These are all forgiveable scenarios for not RSVP-ing to a party, but it still creates stress for the party Mom or Dad who doesn't know how many loot bags to prepare, how many places to set at the table, or how much food to provide.

It has become a very bad trend lately for parents to not RSVP at all. Roughly translated, RSVP means "please respond because I really do need to know how many children will be at this party that is already an overwhelming thought for me."

Some parents have the phone numbers of the little guests and can follow up, but why should they have to?

The next time you receive an invitation, take a moment to make responding your priority. Nothing says sad like a child arriving unexpectedly at a party, forcing the parents to scramble when they already have enough on their plate. To those parents whose children are not attending, have the courtesy to let the hosting Mom or Dad know so they don't go to the added expense and effort for nothing.

Oh and P.S. - check your child's napsack!

ARRGGHH! It's Treasure Ye Seek!

2010-05-26T12:29:00.004-04:00

Having conducted a few treasure hunts for pirate parties, I've figured out what works and what doesn't work.

Find a bunch of half shells that your clues will go in. This makes it easy for the children to know what they're looking for and the shells go well with your theme. The clue itself could be a short rhyme that hints at an object in your house, such as a fridge. I usually print off pictures and place those in the shells. That way children of all ages can easily participate in the hunt.

Decide ahead of time if you want the clues to be throughout your house, including your child's room, the bathroom, etc. and order the clues so they are going from one end of the house to the other, back and forth, instead of all in one or two rooms. Make sure the shells are well hidden or throughout the party the children may find them and bring them to you. That will mess up the flow of the whole hunt, as you manically try to redirect the children to the next clue.

Schedule the hunt to be toward the end of the party. Parents arriving early can witness the fun and as this is perhaps your most boisterous activity, you can get them all riled up and then send them on their way. You can make their loot bags the found treasure, so having the hunt at the end of the party means the children aren't opening the loot bags during the party.

As the hunt gets underway, explain to the children that you're going to show or read the clue and they have to go together to search for the next clue. Now this next part is important. Tell them that when they find each clue, they have to bring it to you. This will prevent a stampede of older children racing all over the house and leaving the younger, smaller ones behind. Everyone gets a chance to see and search for each clue.

It's up to you if you want to have mini prizes at each shell location, such as gold coins. If you do, make sure the little pirates have small bags to carry everything in.

Name Tags with Numbers

2010-05-16T09:54:00.002-04:00

I've said it before (on Twitter search for #partytip) and I'll say it again: name tags with numbers. As your party guests arrive, make sure each one gets a name tag. This will make it easy to label the crafts, prizes, etc. More importantly, put a number on each name tag, starting with the birthday child as #1. It's his or her special day and I've long since given up on imposing my will of how to be a good host on an excited child.

These numbers will let the children know in which order they will go for games and gift unwrapping. They live and breathe by these numbers and don't crowd in asking if they can go next. It's magical. I've seen parents embrace the numbering system as their own and it really works: no hard feelings, no competitiveness, just eagerly anticipating their numbers to be next.

This is just one sanity saver you can use when hosting your child's party!

Party Food ~ A Princess Party

2010-05-03T22:46:00.004-04:00

When planning a princess party, inspiration for the food can come from a traditional tea party. Delicate sandwiches made with pink dyed bread can be ordered from your grocery store's bakery. I don't recommend green, as the bread looks moldy. Ask them to slice the bread horizontally and then spread peanut butter (if no nut allergies), cream cheese, Cheez Whiz, egg salad, and jam. Roll the bread and then slice it to make pinwheels. Crustless triangle or finger sandwiches with lunch meats provide a variety of shapes for visual interest.

Line the serving dishes with paper doilies. Have colorful floral napkins on hand to add flourish to the display. Use multi-level serving dishes and adorn them with silk flowers. Scatter silk petals on the table.

Hot chocolate served in a mini tea set will add to the fun. Instead of a birthday cake, have mini cupcakes that the guests can decorate with sprinkles and royal icing roses (from a bulk food store). Delicate and feminine is the feel you are going for with a princess theme!

The Quickest SPECIAL Cake That You Will Ever Make

2010-04-27T07:58:00.003-04:00

Very special thanks to Lisa McDonald, a.k.a. @those2girls for her guest blog. This fun poem produces a very special cake! (You can even rap to it. I tried.)

The quickest SPECIAL cake
That you will ever make:

It’s an important date,
So don’t sit around and wait!

Find your favourite Jello flavour
That your guests will savour,

What soon will become
The SPECIAL cake second to none!

You still have time to get the house spiffy
Because the gourmet part is done is a jiffy.

The fact is, it becomes swirly
As you make it a DAY EARLY!

Where do you start?
Well here’s the best part.

Grab a regular white cake mix;
Soon it will do tricks.

Bake as directed
But soon it will perfected.

Let your cake cool -
That it the rule.

Now time for Jello that you next make
But don’t refrigerate!

Instead, grab a fork
And pop holes in the cake (no I’m not a dork!)

Now grab your liquidy Jello
And pour over the cake, but be mellow.

Next you grab some Cool Whip topping;
You’re almost done, so no stopping!

Slather it all over the cake’s top
And into the fridge, but be careful don’t slop

When you wake the next day,
You are free to yell HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You see they think you will have slaved
Because one MARBLED cake is what you made.

Party Tasks Part Deux

2010-04-11T09:50:00.005-04:00

In the last post I talked about some aspects of your child's party that you might want to take on when it comes to the cake and decorations. This time let's tackle the activities. So many parents say they are stymied when it comes to what to do with their little party guests. Nothing says "chaos" like a house full of kids who are bored. If they're climbing the furniture, having a balloon fight or running into walls, it's time for "Party 911."

You can choose to hire someone to entertain the kids but that will not eliminate the stress altogether. You still have to inject your own system of order.

As the kids are arriving, have something to keep each child occupied, like working on a craft. Once everyone has arrived, it's time to start some games. This can be in lieu of an entertainer or until he or she arrives. I like to start with the quieter games like bingo, musical boxes, pin the X on the map, or movie scripts - depending on the theme and age of the children. The more raucous activities come near the end of the party when the kids are all sugared up and just about to be swept out the door.

Have the children sit in a circle on the floor. "Circle" is a shape that is difficult to acquire with a group of constantly moving bodies, but I leared a trick: while everyone is still standing, have them hold hands and spread out while still holding hands until you have near enough to a circle and then say "drop your hands and sit."

Another trick to help with the games: put a name tag on each child and then put a number on each name tag. Let the kids know the number tells them when it's their turn for something. This goes a long way in keeping the peace and you don't get the shoving and "my turn, my turn" pleas. I use the same numbering system for gift unwrapping time. The kids readily embrace the concept because it's "fair."

My final piece of advice for the do-it-yourselfer: if you're doing games and giving prizes, make sure everyone gets a prize and make sure everyone knows ahead of time they will be getting one. Civility maintained.

Party Tasks - Should You Own Them All?

2010-03-24T13:01:00.004-04:00

It's that time of year again. Bet you didn't think it would come around this quickly, did you? It's time to plan your child's birthday party. The question is, how much should you have to do and how much would be better off in someone else's hands?

The Cake
I know some fabulous bakers who make brilliant cakes. Your friends will be impressed. But my favorite cakes are those baked by the parent with love and sometimes even decorated by the siblings and/or the party child. Nothing says "sweet" like the memorable picture of a slightly lopsided buttercream icing cake. (I threw in the buttercream for myself.)

The Decorations
It's so darned easy to run out to your local party supply store and pick up those Barbie hats, plates, balloons, streamers, loot bag contents. But if you're going for unique, less expensive and more personal, it's time to think outside of the party box. Homemade decorations are a huge hit. They allow you to be creative (with or without your child) and your party guests will be suitably impressed. Some of you are scoffing right now and rightly so. You're very busy! So how about this: Nothing says "party" like balloons. Lots of them. So many that you beg your guests to take some home. Helium filled? Expensive to order, but do-it-yourself tanks won't last nearly as long as "ready blown" (they put some chemical in the balloon to make it more airtight), so spend the extra to have them last longer.

Next post...To Clown or Not to Clown...

The Greatest Job in the World!

2010-03-04T08:54:00.003-05:00

Through the work week, I'm a Senior Consultant (read Programmer in tights) for a company in Toronto that designs and builds financial documents. But by "night" (and on weekends) I'm a Children's Party Planner!

Here are the top ten reasons why being a Children's Party Planner is the greatest job in the world:

1. Shopping. Lots of it.

2. Colour. It's a very flamboyant world where sparkles, twinkle lights, feather boas and balloons fill the space around me.

3. I make kids smile. From the moment they get their treasure box invitation.

4. Birthday cake. Sometimes a hazard of the job, but I'll take my chances.

5. It lets my creative juices flow as I'm always sourcing out the coolest decorations, invitation ideas, costume accessories, activities, loot bag contents and prizes.

6a. My kids can boast about what I do. 6b. Their friends think I'm cool.

7. I always have supplies on hand for my own kids' parties. (How many people keep helium in their basement?)

8. I have to test the karaoke machine once in a while. These "sound checks" can last for hours.

9. It's a great excuse to get out of doing stuff you really don't want to do, like housework, laundry, feeding your kids...

10. It's very freeing to slip into a hippo costume for a few minutes and dance around or give hugs to kids who are instantly impressed.

Moms - You DO Enough! You ARE Enough!

2010-03-01T19:31:00.003-05:00

This is my favourite kind of contest because it rewards the moms! It's a fact a mom is mostly responsible for taking care of her home and family, even if she has a full or part-time job. Women feel almost daily pressure to look our best and be our best. We think we can't do it all, yet somehow we do. You should be rewarded.

This Mother's Day, you could be the winner of a visit to The Waters - An Urban Spa Retreat in Waterloo where you will luxuriate in spa treatments totalling $100!

To enter, you need to book a children's party with Hullabaloo between March 1st and May7th, 2010. The party can take place any time before May 6, 2011, but the deposit must be received by us no later than Friday May 7th, 2010.

Moms, you do enough. You are enough. Let us take away the burden of planning that perfect party for your child and you may have the added bonus of a spa treatment!

Please visit our website at http://www.hullabalooparty.ca/ for more information about our parties. Good luck! (Don't forget to mention the contest!)

Mabel’s Labels BlogHer ‘10 Contest

2010-02-28T08:58:00.004-05:00

Contest Premise:
"Write a post on your blog in response to the following hypothetical situation: Electrical storms are going to wipe out the Internet (perhaps forever). You have one day left to write about your passions: what do you want to say to the blogosphere in 300 words or less?" http://www.mabel.ca/blogher/blogher+home

Through all the glue-gunning, basket-packing, balloon-blowing, child-herding and finally vomit-on-the-carpet-cleaning, one thought resonates with me: “Mamas – you’re doing it wrong.” But that’s okay, because I’m here to help. I’m a Children’s Party Planner and from “do I get a pwize?” to “that was the best party EVER!” I’ve seen it all.

People call me because they are stymied when it comes to meeting their own over-the-top expectations when it comes to their child’s birthday party. I’m here to say, don’t let the “Four Lacks” get you down: Lack of Money, Inspiration, Time or Help (MITH). Keeping up with the Johars should come down to one thing: did the kids have the best party EVER? (and did they get a “pwize?”) Let’s blow MITH out of the proverbial punch bowl and put Inspiration at the top of the list. The rest will follow because if you have a really great idea for your child’s party, if you’re really letting the creative juices flow (can I get a Disney Princess napkin over here?), then your excitement, CONFIDENCE and newfound energy to make this thing happen will overcome the other obstacles.

Sit down with your child and ask what he or she would like for a party. Brainstorm about themes because everything from colour scheme to food to activities will need a solid foundation that is your theme. Write down everything your child says and reject no idea up front.
Finally, it’s okay to say “no”, both to yourself and your child. It’s okay to say “this is my limit and no one will suffer because of it.” Now go have a great party!

Hullabaloo Wanted to Know - So You Told Us!

2010-02-26T20:42:00.006-05:00

The results are in! First I would like to thank the many moms and dads who participated in our survey. You gave us some very valuable insights into what parents are thinking when it comes time to plan for their child's birthday party. We've met with many parents but we've never captured the metrics of their opinions about party planning. Let's take a look at what you said!

We asked what was the most important factor when planning your child's party. It was almost a three-way tie, with "budget-friendly" in the lead, followed by "less stressful for you" and "most fun for your child and guests." We didn't offer up "keep up with the Joneses" as an option.

Among all of the options you could include in your party package, games were selected 92% of the time (multiple choices were allowed), followed by crafts, and then face painting. This tells us that keeping the children occupied was your greatest concern and that would be your expectation of a party service.

Next we asked how important it was to you that your party be environmentally-friendly. 71% of you were somewhat to very interested in having that as a consideration. Food for thought for us! What did Kermit say? It's not easy being green? We'll prove him wrong!

Ah, then we asked you what was the most difficult part of planning a party on your own and almost half indicated TIME - not having enough of it. Next was how to occupy the children. Running out of valium didn't make the list.

You went with the very traditional themes as your favourites:

1. Pirates and Mermaids

2. Knights and Princesses

3. Jungle/Rainforest

Oh, Hannah - time for career change?

This next one was important to us because we have, on occasion, offered a higher-end craft instead of a loot bag but didn't know if it should be a standard option for our clients. 63% of you essentially said "keep your stinking loot bags and give us something we can treasure." (For the record, our loot bags do not stink. Humph.)

Here's where it's not surprising, but I do so love to mention what most of us already know. While 71% of you said it's mostly the mom who makes the decisions about the parties (our mom clients do consult with the dads about our price before going ahead with a party), almost 91% said moms do the majority to all of the work for a party. In "all my years" of party planning, it's the moms who contact us, meet with us (sometimes with the dad looking on, and rarely sitting with us) and coordinate with us. I have only ever had three dads approach me about booking a party. (Here's where I wave my banner that says "You Do enough! You ARE enough!")

Thanks again for participating. Your opinions shape who we are. Congratulations to Janine Murray, winner of a $25 Swiss Chalet gift card!

A Small House with Big Dreams

2010-01-24T09:43:00.003-05:00

I wish you could see the room where I keep all of my party supplies. Well, actually I don't. It was once the crown jewel in the basement, my huge walk-in closet, carpeted and decked out with IKEA wire shelving that I kept exposed for easy access. Flash forward to today and my daughter now uses a part of that room, and shelving units with my party supplies take up the rest of the space.

On any given day my daughter could walk into the room and walk smack into "Captain Skinny" the life-sized skeleton I dress up as Jack Sparrow. (That's a step up from the mannequin I had from my e-Bay seller days. We were lucky if she was even dressed, most days. A long red wig, slightly askew on her bald head, did not count as "dressed.") Other obstacles now present might be a huge pink chest with dress-up clothes, some fairy wings, a karaoke machine, a Darth Vader cardboard cutout, a bag with face painting supplies, or a butterfly net (useful in both Rainforest and Castaway Challenge parties).

Yes, I think back on the days before I heaved a dozen or so boxes of supplies onto those shelves and wonder what I used to do with me weekends. Heck, what I used to do with evenings, before I stained treasure chest invitations, crafted thank you bookmarks, or filled "loot bags." By loot bags I mean "gift baskets" because these have been lovingly thought out and put together, each occasion a moment of wanting to do better than with the last batch and hoping the children will be entranced.

I do love the shopping that requires me to scout out items of quality for each theme, while at the same time maintaining a semblance of a budget. My team of helpers and I often exit a store with multiple bags with every combination and permutation of party supplies. Occasionally I'll go to a fair and while chainmail would be a rocking addition to any party, have you ever priced out chainmail? When something is out of my reach financially, as in it's a bad investment, I'll try to think of ways to create the item on my own. Like the cardboard castle. It took some help from those who better understood how to replicate stone walls using tape and paint, but I'm proud of the result. The acquisition of a new large piece means rethinking my storage options.

My dining room is often the staging area where photo shoots, crafting and assembly take place. The living room becomes the temporary storage facility the night before a party because I want to know before I go to sleep that everything is ready to go. The laundry room is where I recently installed more shelving to accommodate loot bag supplies and prizes.

I didn't think the house was big enough to accommodate five people and two dogs, let alone a home-based business. I was wrong. It's a small house, but it contains big dreams.

Sock Snowman Craft

2009-12-06T08:13:00.004-05:00

We had lots of buzz around our sock snowman craft at yesterday's children's Christmas party, so I'm going to put the instructions here!

You will need:
white tube sock
fuzzy sock (dollar store has great selection)
ploy-fil filling
white string
brown, orange pipe cleaners
tiny and small black fuzzy balls
white glue
scissors

Instructions:
1) Cut the tube sock just above the heel.
2) Fill the sock with poly-fil
3) tie open end of sock (tight)
4) tie around where neck will be - down from tied end (not as tight)
5) tie around waist (even less tight)
6) cut toe part of fuzzy sock almost to heel
7) roll open part of fuzzy sock to make hat
8) put hat on snowman at tied end
9) cut and fold brown pipe cleaner to make branch arms and stick in body
10) cut 1/2" orange pipe cleaner and stick in head as nose
11) glue tiny black balls as eyes and smile
12) glue small black balls as buttons

Le Meme

2009-11-26T08:55:00.011-05:00

@CocktailDeeva made me do it!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Uh...I know George Burns DIED on my birthday...

2. Where was your first kiss? By a creek. I ran home and boasted to my mom and her neighbour that I had my first French kiss. (cuz that was my first kiss)

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nope

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? No

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? If by large, you mean a New Year's Eve party, then yes - they got to hear my rendition of Oh Holy Night

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Shoulders. Leading to arms. Pride and strength are right there for the touching.

7. What really turns you off? Arrogance

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Chai latte

9. What is your biggest mistake? Acting impulsively

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Every time I'm in a new relationship! I think I'll stick this one out.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I sleep hugging my sham pillow.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Tom Cruise. Okay, no.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Saturday mornings in the kitchen when the kids are watching. I enjoy the humour - even Sponge Bob.

14. Did you have braces? No. My brother had the braces, acne, allergies, glasses, you name it.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Sometimes I feel cute and elfin but it's easy to feel overweight when you're working with only so much spine.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Climbed out of bed to go pick up my daughter after she lost her bus money.

17. When do you know it's love? When I'm talking to my mom about him and SHE gets all mushy.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I've lost most of the university French and German. I dabble in Italian.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Yes - it's the only place the kids can't access.

20. What magazines do you read? I have a lovely pile in my coffee table - does that count?

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? My grandparents. So that makes my family now something like 13 people.

23. Do you watch MTV? No

24. What’s something that really annoys you? Red light left turners

25. What’s something you really like? A good meal with good people

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? I can't get past the face.

27. Can you dance? Of course! Everyone can dance!

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? 5 AM

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes. I fell out of a two storey window when I was 2.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Yes

31. Tag 5 people!
@those2girls
@CLBuchananPhoto
@LauraMunroe
@thegrandbakery
@Jedimommy905

Now stop your time wastin and get back to work....

(FYI: In case you’ve never done a MEME, just remember to link the person that tagged you, answer the same questions, and then tag five people to do the same. Have fun!)

All They Want for Christmas

2009-11-24T13:03:00.012-05:00

We asked our Hullabaloo fans on Facebook to tell us their children's #1 wish list item (or that of their niece, nephew, grandchild, or third cousin twice removed) and this is what they told us. Strangely, no Zhu Zhu pets!

"Kenzie wants a slide! I am hoping we get snow so she can use it!"

"Sydney would like Gator Golf, man I hate the commercials on Nickelodeon Jr Grrr"

"Brianne wants Super Mario for Wii (c'mon she IS my child LOL)"

"Megan wants a guitar and Hana wants a bike!"

"Miles wants a Barn for his animals!"

"My Zoe wants a Pink DS soo bad!!"

"Ryan would love a Transformer, and Erin wants dollies.... any kind of dolly stuff! Ryan would also like" a saw, with some wood, for buildin' stuff, ya know, me and Dad" (as stated at the breakfast table this morning!)"

"My child asked for a new 27" iMac - oh wait no that was me! Son wants iTunes card and a DS game, Daughter apparently everything in the Sears Catalogue. I think I'll buy her a new pen because after doing the catalogue she clearly must be out of ink!"

"Anything that says STAR WARS"

"A comfy crib for sleeping when the baby arrives!"

"Angel wants High School Musical 3"

"Syd's #1 item is the Strawberry Shortcake Berry Cafe"

"My little Princess also wants a sleigh for me to pull her around!!!"

"Kenzie (4) wants a sled, so we as a family can slide down big hills!"

"The only thing my daughter asked Santa for is a squeaky rainbow dinosaur!! (She also has the Playdoh ice cream shop on the list she made for us, though!)"

"A giant bone filled with bacon (I have a fur child) hahaha"

"My 6 yr old son would love to ask Santa for a firetruck from Playmobil"

"A hockey set (net with sticks) is what's on his Santa list!"

"Dinosaurs are a big deal around here. Son wants one that walks and growls ie the Imaginext ones. Babe is just turning one so I'm pretty sure her #1 thing is going to be the wrapping paper...but I'll jump in and say an activity table, lol."

"Michael (almost 4) wants a Tonka Bounce-Back Racer. And a snow globe :-) Santa's letter is on its way."

"Anything and everything Thomas the Train...or apparently a moo cow."

"Trucks, trucks & more trucks!"

"My four year old D really wants a Nitendo DS!! A PINK ONE!!!"

"Well now...my daughter's #1 wish list item is a chemistry set...yes...a 6 year old wants a chemistry set. However, she is willing to settle for a Fur Real Friend since we can't get a dog anytime soon!!"

Thanks to everyone who contributed and congratulations to Sonya Jackson Marleau, winner of a $25 Toys 'R' Us gift card! (You can join our fan page and participate in contests by going here: Hullabaloo on Facebook)

Winter Parties

2009-11-21T08:24:00.002-05:00

Surprisingly, our little neck of the woods has yet to see any significant snowfall. In the past, we have seen a blanket if white even before Halloween. So although it might feel too soon to start planning a Winter Party for your little one, the days will whip by and the snow in all its glory will soon be here.

I loved doing Winter Parties for my children because they helped to break up the monotony of winter. It was a great way to get a groupof kids together to frolick in the snow, play games, and enjoy great cold weather food. Here are some ideas for your own Winter Party:

IGLOO
Gather up as many plastic containers as your freezer will hold (that number is unlimited if it's really cold outside) and fill them with water. Add food colouring. Freeze the containers. On party day, tip the coloured ice onto the ground and make igloos.

ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN
This is a take on the Mummy game: with teams of two or three, have one person be the wrappee and ther other(s) the wrappers. They take toilet paper and wrap the teammate until all of the toilet paper is gone.

DESSERT PIZZA
My kids and their friends LOVED this. Use a rice krispy square recipe and press the rice krispies into paper plates (one for each child). Have a buffet of ice cream, cream cheese, chocolate icing, and whipped cream for the spread. Have bowls of fruit like kiwi and strawberries to layer on top.

These are just some ideas to get you started. Do you have Winter Party ideas? Share them here!

The Shackles of Fear

2009-11-13T10:23:00.002-05:00

It was a perfectly balmy summer night in July, half a lifetime ago, as I sat in a Canadian Tire parking lot in Etobicoke, waiting for my husband to finish work. I had the tunes blaring, the windows rolled down, and I was flipping through a Viceroy catalogue of house designs. In my rearview mirror, I saw two men approaching from the O'Toole's bar.

"Great" I thought. "A pick up." The men asked me for directions and then wandered over to another car where they spoke with the occupant for a while. The lights went out in the store, signalling its closure and the men reapproached my car. This time, as I pointed out my window to show them where they needed to go, one of the men somehow hauled me out of my car. I was a weightless object, flung onto the asphalt.

"Rape" was my thought. But no, they were climbing into my car. Too drunk to realize my keys were turned down in the ignition, the driver could not start the car immediately. I yanked on the door, senselessly thinking "James needs the car for work tomorrow!"

I was jumping up and down by the car, wanting my husband to see me from the store. He saw, but was fumbling with the store keys to unlock the door from the inside. By the time he made it out, I was somehow once again on the ground and the car was speeding away.

The car was recovered the following night, after two drive-by purse snatchings. The red hubcaps made the car easy to spot. The female policewoman who apprehended the men called me in, late at night, to identify them in an album of polaroid shots. They were younger than I was.

Weeks later, I received a victim impact statement but never filled it out. I didn't think I had been impacted. But now I know, as I lock my car doors, even now, 19 years later, in any parking lot, as I always look over my shoulder and as I never ever speak to a stranger through my car window.

That is one fear I carry. The other is that I will dislocate my knee yet again and feel the worst pain - the kind of pain that makes you vomit or pass out. I've done both, many times since I was 12. It got the point where I would angle my leg slightly the wrong way, and out would go my knee - eventually not wanting to go back in place. I finally had surgery fours years ago, but four years later I still lie in bed, flinching as I relive the moments of white lights and dizziness. Four years later I am too afraid to even run and gingerly watch each step I take, especially down stairs. Stairs don't like me.

I feel shackled by my fears. My experiences taught me to tread more carefully, figuratively and literally, but they also made me fear LIFE and LIVING. It affects my personal life and my professional life. Too many what-ifs. Too many reasons to just play it safe and hide.

I read "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" - a great book without even cracking the spine - and I ask myself "what is the worst thing that can happen?" I need to also ask myself "what is the BEST thing that can happen?" And unlock the shackles. And live.

The Politics of Presents

2009-10-25T09:57:00.003-04:00

When I meet with parents to go over their child's party details, one of the questions I ask is "will there be gift unwrapping at the party?" For the most part, parents still accept gifts for their children at the birthday party (more on those who don't later), but are divided on whether or not the gifts should be opened in front of the party guests, especially if there are quite a few children invited.

The unwrapping of the gifts can become a laborious process that sees a few children getting restless and wandering away from the group. Eventually, it's difficult to keep everyone focused on the birthday child who is lost in a frenzy of paper, toy packaging etc. and no longer remembers what gift came from whom.

The other way of thinking about the gift unwrapping is that the guests have taken the time to find the perfect gift for your child and want to see his or her reaction. I would suggest letting the size of the party dictate whether or not gifts will be unwrapped during the party. To avoid chaos, I like to put a number on each guest's name tag and then let them know that will be the order of the unwrapping. The children totally buy into that method because it seems fair.

Let's face it: 20 gifts are not only 19 more than what your child even needs, will no doubt include at least one gift with teeny parts you will step on until the whole thing quietly disappears, but they can also appear to be your reason for having the party. On top of that, the other children shouldn't have to sit through an endless stream of gift after gift: that's not why they're there.

An ever-growing idea around gifts is to request that in lieu of gifts, a donation be made to the birthday child's favourite charity. If that is too extreme for your child whose understanding of a birthday party includes gifts, there are also options that allow your guests to give a donation and also go in on a group gift that you pick. At the most recent party I did, the Mom made sure all the guests knew about the charity selected and that they had also contributed to the gift that the child then unwrapped for them to see.

Finally, there are parents who ask for "gently used" books and toys from the guest's own home. I haven't seen this in practice yet, so I'm curious to know if this is well-received.

These last two options are also eco-friendly as there is little to no packaging or wrapping materials.

Screamingly Fun Hallowe'en Games for Kids

2009-10-24T12:55:00.004-04:00

Hallowe'en is my second favourite holiday of the year - next to Christmas! It's a chance to be devilish, to dress up as anything or anybody you want, and best of all, the chance to pig out completely on candy! (wiping slight moisture from upper lip)

I also love Hallowe'en because my kids like to throw a party for their friends and they let me do it! (wait a minute, something sounds wrong with that)

Here are some ideas for Hallowe'en party games your kids and their friends will love:

I Want My Mummy!
In this game, the children are in teams of two (or three). One child is the "mummy" and the other child has a roll of toilet paper and, starting from the ankles, will wrap the "mummy" until all of the toilet paper is gone. I know it's tempting to buy a double roll and then go for a long car ride while they finish off the roll, but stick with a single. Try not to go too cheap on the roll either, or the kids will be breaking and re-starting the roll over and over again; and you know kids - if it's a teeny bit frustrating, they might flop to the ground and flail around until going home time. (Can going home time ever come soon enough?)

Haunted House
I could probably just send a group of kids into my son's room and that would be enough to have them screaming in fear (and their parents calling me later, all angry and self-righteous), but let's use some imagination here. I like to make the "haunted house" on the second level (if you have one), so the kids have to start their journey of fear by walking up the decorated staircase. They'll hear sounds from upstairs and their anticipation will build. Depending on the ages of the children, you can try and make the room as scary as possible, with masked people jumping out, etc. or you can opt for slightly scary challenges in the room. Which leads us to...

Blindfolded Icky Stuff Touching
I could all out with this one, but my kids said this year "no squid." Place some food items in bowls or on plates (or in shoeboxes - you get the idea) and cover with a cloth. The child reaches in and touches the item as you say what it is. If it's green olives (with pimento, of course), you say it's eyeballs. Spaghetti - intestines, cheesestrings - fingers. You get the idea. We even bought a brain jello mold this year! Can't wait!

Have a wonderfully creative and fun Hallowe'en!

Search for a Scary Mommy...Ends Here!

2009-10-20T16:57:00.003-04:00

Pick me, pick me! This is a blog entry into the Scary Mommy contest (http://www.scarymommy.com/the-search-for-a-scary-mommy/). Please read, and if you agree I'm scary, comment below. Your comments will help me win!

Let the willies begin! In my home, it's perfectly normal for my three children to see me walking around with a life-sized skeleton, Harry Potter cardboard cutout or fairy wings. These are some of the props I use when I do children's parties. Scarier for my children is when I approach them with a critical eye, sizing them up to wear a princess dress, pirate costume, knight chainmail...I believe our "family business" should include child labour! My kids are great at filling loot bags, helium balloons, stamping thank you bookmarks, and gluing treasure chest invitations! It's when I get a glint in my eye and say I have a new theme that their pupils dilate and they try to run from the room. But that's just the weekend.

Through the week, I'm your standard geeky programmer whose day in sprinkled with tweets and Facebook posts. My closest friends are online, or "virtual" as my other half, Rob says. Dinner table conversation revolves around who won a Tassimo coffee machine on Twitter or how my Farmville farm is doing on Facebook. Sometimes I let everyone else talk and we play the "high-low" game: what was your high today? What was your low?

As with every family, we take trips to the mall, but I always have my eyes open for new party ideas. I wouldn't say my kids resent my sporadic attention span per se, but when we arrive back home with bags and bags of party supplies and little Timmy (re-named to protect the innocent) still doesn't have back-to-school shoes...Mommy has lost focus.

One "fun" family activity I came up with was "family gym night" with Rob and my son. Three times a week dwindled to two (let's face it, this summer needed no bikini-ready body!) and then none. When the moment of truth arrived (a.k.a. time to strap on my gym shorts) there were more groans coming from my son and me than from a maternity ward.

Oh, did I mention my house? (If you need more scary.) See, I'm building an empire, as it were, so my house has fallen by the wayside. I think I had the ducts cleaned hoping that would also take care of the dusting for a while. Hey, we can't make little grey snowmen on the table quite yet, so how bad can it be?

Trying to Find the Good

2009-10-16T14:17:00.002-04:00

I was already apprehensive about having lab work done today: what if I can't pee? What if I faint when they take my blood? (it's happened) And worse still: how do I survive the 12 hour fast?! No coffee?! (My fast was not going to include cigarettes because I reasoned the lack of them would only skew my "score.")

So when I arrived at the lab and stood behind the only person in line for the receptionist, let's face it, I was looking for a problem. A woman came through the door and was instructed to take a number. "I'm here too!" I said, leaning in. I was told to take a number too. Now wouldn't you think the woman who just took a number would have given me hers? She didn't. I sat there grumbling to myself and tried to find the good. Maybe the woman was there for a real sickness, not for standard tests, like I was.

When it was my turn to speak to the receptionist (10 minutes after the woman with my number had gone in), I was still not finding the good. Maybe the receptionist picked up on it and felt the need to do battle. Or maybe she was just spawned from the shadows of hell...Either way, she was down on me from the start. Everything from "'standing order every year' doesn't tell me the frequency" to "you'll have to come back tomorrow for this other test because it's for a different doctor." I was jamming paperwork back into my purse, trying REALLY HARD to find the good, but it just wasn't coming.

Then along came Ingrid. Sweet Ingrid with the blood-letting equipment. She had this soothing, horse-whisperer tone and she quickly and effortlessly smoothed things over. She even did the tests for the other doctor and listened consolingly to the story of the number-stealing-woman. Where did this woman come from and how was she able to turn the negative into the positive so easily?

I mused about this on the way home, as another woman drove into my lane and threatened to hit me head on. "Why, she must be late for something, God bless her little heart" I murmured, as I slammed on the brakes and honked my horn. Nope, it wasn't working. I'm no Ingrid. But I'll keep trying. The good news part of the day? I didn't have to pee into into a cup! (Maybe they just didn't want to have to take that on too.)

I'm the Kind of Mom...

2009-10-10T19:46:00.002-04:00

I'm the kind of mom...who has taught my children by example that you make make horrible mistakes in life but still bounce back.

I'm the kind of mom...who is sometimes too tired to remember about homework, signing agendas or filling out trip forms.

I'm the kind of mom...who can spend hours organizing her children's things and feel at peace while doing it.

I'm the kind of mom...who is plagued by guilt in the middle of the night over things not done, promises not kept, or disappointments made.

I'm the kind of mom...who managed to raise children I can take anywhere and they behave, but I didn't have to go to any great lengths to achieve this.

I'm the kind of mom...who finds parenting magazines stressful, constant reminders of all the things I am not doing with and for my kids.

I'm the kind of mom...who can't understand why, if I was an English major, 2 out of 3 children are horrible spellers and one has illegible handwriting. Child #3 is showing high hope.

I'm the kind of mom...who dreads the end of the school day but then misses the children when they're gone.

I'm the kind of mom...who knows my son is overweight but doesn't want to scar him for life by telling him that. So it's trips to the gym and half-hearted talks about diet.

I'm the kind of mom...who physically dragged my 17yo daughter back into the house this past summer, after she threatened to leave. I'm glad I did.

I'm the kind of mom...who thought I was going to teach my daughter all about shaving, only to find she had been doing it on her own already.

I'm the kind of mom...who agreed to have my daughter go on the pill and was glad she asked me.

I'm the kind of mom...who finds the kids so draining that sometimes I withdraw. They always bring me back out though.

I'm the kind of mom...who fears my children will one day also be diagnosed as being bi-polar.

I'm the kind of mom...who tries to get my kids excited about karaoke but it's usually me who ends up singing.

I'm the kind of mom...who loves to have the kids' friends over. If only my house were bigger so I could have proper space for everyone. Island in the kitchen, with all the friends gathered round to eat the snacks I made...

I'm the kind of mom...I always wanted to be.

Yummy Mummies on Twitter!

2009-10-04T19:24:00.006-04:00

Who's missing?
@YummyMummyClub
@Hullabaloo519
@LauraMunroe
@moeturner
@PartyMummy
@LiteMochaMom
@qt_pie1602
@seeJillrun
@RachealMc
@pattysullivan
@SharonDV
@those2girls
@YMCBuzz
@KathyBuckworth
@WonderMoms
@ImFreckles
@kellidaisy
@CandaceDx
@nummiesbras
@JackiYo
@cbadov
@marcyberg
@CLBuchananphoto
@ParentClub
@mom2michael
@filterologist
@wandalynnyoung
@graceannounce
@littlemissmocha
@bitofmomsense
@cocktaildeeva
@blackpanther71
@averygoodyear
@HumpsNBump
@cindyambrose
@ottawamom
@journeywoman
@TheChattyMomma
@Jedimommy905
@1ofthose2girls

The Magic of Other People's Children

2009-07-26T15:54:00.004-04:00

Running parties for other people's children has forced me to, well like other people's children. Oh come on, I'm not alone here. How many of you really only tolerate your children's friends? You're saying "but you're a freaking children's party planner! You're supposed to like children!" Save your horror for the morning mirror. It's not that I don't like children, it's that up until I started this whole party business, I didn't quite appreciate the magic of other people's children.

Take little Magnum, for instance. (Yes, I Googled wacky children's names.) When it was time for the treasure hunt, I showed the party guests a shell with a picture of a stove taped inside. The idea was for them to go to the stove and find the next shell with the clue in it. Little Magnum yelled "toilet!" and ran in the opposite direction of the kitchen. Now how bizarre yet cute is that?

Or little Chutney (seriously, someone named their child Chutney) who looked at me with his sad little eyes and said "do I get a pwize?" (He also, bless his brilliant little heart" declared that "this is the best party ever!") These little guys make my head spin with comes out of their mouths. They make me re-adjust my thinking, lose the tunnel vision and really take a second look around me.

I can walk into a party on "Game Day", all control-freakish and organized but kids don't let you stay that way for long. Just when I think I have it all figured out, they remind me that's there's always the need to keep my mind receptive to what's really important to them. Some embrace wearing costumes, doing crafts, sitting still...others have their own plans. You just don't get that with adults. Too bad.

Lose the Guilt and Still Plan a Great Party

2009-07-22T12:59:00.011-04:00

It's time to plan your child's party and you may be feeling a bit stressed about it. The stress is coming from this niggling place in you that says you better get it right, or else. Or else what? Someone once said "show me a woman without guilt and I'll show you a man." I love that expression because isn't it so true? We feel guilt from the moment we wake up until the moment we lay down our head and sometimes even as we sleep. Well guess what, ladies?! You DO enough and you ARE enough. So shake off that mantle of guilt, look around you and see all that you have accomplished. Do you think any of what you see around you would be possible without you? You did all this! So congratulations. I don't even know most of you, but I'm proud of you and proud to be a woman because I know that day in and day out you give it your all. Are you feeling better about yourself? Then let's get started with this party planning because this one will be your best ever and it will be guilt-free!

Budget

~ determine how much you want to spend on your child's party. You can discuss the budget with children as young as eight. Explain why you can't invite everyone in your child's class (if you can't) and make decisions together, based on the budget.
~ break the budget down into invitations, decorations, partyware, accessories, food, cake, activities, prizes, loot bags and thank-you.

Date and Time

~ pick a date ~ decide on the time of the party - this is usually 1 to 3 or 2 to 4. The time of the party determines whether you need to provide a meal or just snacks.

Guests

~ decide on the number of guests. It has to work with your budget. You have more flexibility if you are just serving snacks, but remember that the cost of loot bags can really add up when there is a large number of children. Will this party include family members? Make sure to include anyone who might attend - even parents of the children who might decide to stick around. You don't want to be foraging at the last minute in your cobweb-infested basement for more paper plates.

Helpers

~ ensure you have at least one person to help you at the party. This is your child’s special day and he or she will appreciate having a mama who has more than a few tufts of hair left in her head at the end of the party. You want to witness and enjoy this fabulous party you created. Friends, relatives, the babysitter, parents o the guests – ask any and all to help you out in any way that they can. No one will say no.

Theme

~ Pick a theme. If you have one, everything will nicely fall into place around it. Ask your child what he or she wants and really listen. You might want a princess party for your little girl but maybe she wants a puppy party. Before you agree to the theme, ask yourself if it’s feasible. How would you execute a Transformers party? The good news is, there is a plethora of information on the internet. Google your party theme and then copy and paste any ideas you find into a document. Then you can go through all of the information and keep the good stuff.

Location

~ Decide where the party will be held. Assuming it will be at your home, will it be indoor or outdoor? (If outdoor, allow for the possibility of foul weather and have a back-up plan.

Invitations

~ Make or buy the invitations. I personally love hand-made invitations. They make great keepsakes and you may be able to include your child in their creation. This will also save you the trouble of finding invitations for your theme and doesn’t limit your theme choice to what’s available in partyware. But if you would prefer to buy invitations, give yourself the time to find what you really want.
~ Include an RSVP with a date, your name and phone number. Including an e-mail address may increase responses since some people prefer that to picking up a phone and talking.
~ Distribute the invitations at least two weeks before the party. If it’s a summer party, deliver them before school ends.

Decorations

~ Make and/or buy the decorations that go with your theme. Keep your budget in mind and include your child. If he or she has toys that complement the theme, haul them out. You don’t have to buy pricey partyware in your theme. Be creative a la Google and see what others have done. Use the colours in your theme for balloons and streamers. Here’s where the helpers come in. They can mass-produce balloons that can be attached to the ceiling with ribbon trailing down for a very festive effect. You can direct from your comfortable chair, cocktail in hand. Hand streamers in doorways – the kids love to walk through them. Again, leave yourself lots of time to find just what you need.
~ Decorate the day before the party so the day of the party is not chaotic.

Tableware

~ Buy plates, cups, napkins, cutlery and a tablecloth. To be eco-friendly, buy ones you can use again (i.e. plastic instead of paper). If themed partyware is not in your budget, select the colours in your theme and use those instead.

~Set the table the night before the party if the crafts will not be done on that table.

Accessories

~ Decide if you want your birthday child and guests to dress up or accessorize for the theme. Does your budget allow for this? Is it practical (i.e. can you re-use them).
~ Research online what other parents have done in your theme. There are great pictures out there.
~ Buy/make the costumes and/or accessories.

Food

~ Make a list of the food you will need (you already decided on the time of day for the party, so now you know if you are doing a meal or just snacks).
~ Go shopping for the food.
~ Prepare the food the day before the party. If you are having food delivered, arrange and pay for it the day before the party so you don’t have to search around for money on the day of the party.
~ Decide what dishes will hold the food and have them ready the night before the party.
~ Decide where the food will be served: at the table or buffet-style.

Cake

~ Research the type of cake you want.
~ Meet with your local bakery well in advance of the party if you want an extra special cake. Bring a picture. The price of the cake must be within your budget. OR
~ Bake and decorate your cake at least a day before the party. Include your child – it will make for a great memory.
~ Consider cupcakes as an alternative to a cake. Homemade ones can be decorated by the party guests.

Activities

~ Decide on the activities that go with your theme: face painting is surprisingly simple; everyone loves tattoos; make up, hair accessories are appropriate for some themes; will there be a craft for the children to do?; will there be games? Do an online search on your theme to come up with great ideas. Include your child in the planning. What does he or she want to do?
~ Purchase supplies for the activities well in advance of the party so you have lots of selection and can brainstorm without feeling pressured. Stay within your budget.
~ The day before the party, set up the craft station and game area(s); if it’s an outdoor party, make sure most of the activities can be done indoors if the weather is bad.

Schedule

~ make a schedule. This will ensure party day goes smoothly. Be flexible on party day but know what time is remaining for all the activities planned. Here is my favourite two-hour schedule:
first half hour: guests arrive - put on accessories/face painting/tattoos/hair and make up/craft (keep them busy until everyone arrives)
second half hour: games
third half hour: food, cake, open presents
final 15 to 30 minutes: games

Prizes

~ Decide if there will be prizes; if the guests are very young, make sure every guest gets a prize so there are no tears.
~ Purchase the prizes and make good use of the dollar store but ask yourself if you would want your child to bring home these items. Stay within your budget.

Gifts

~ Decide if you are accepting gifts; an alternative is to accept charitable donations.
~ If you are accepting gifts, decide if they will be opened during the party.

Loot Bags

~ Go shopping well in advance of the party to see what is available in quality items for your loot bags. You don’t have to spend a lots, but avoid buying junk that you wouldn’t want you own child to bring home. Do this buying before you buy the loot holder so you know what size of holder is needed.
~ Make or buy the loot holders. You can be really creative here and include your child. Make sure it goes with your theme, if only in the colours.
~ Assemble the loot bags before party day.
~ Place the loot bags near the door so they aren’t forgotten.

The Thank-You

~ Decide on what form the thank-you will take. It can be a hand-made bookmark signed by your child with “Thank You” on it – these can be handed out as the guests leave – or it can be a thank-you card delivered after the party. Including a picture of the guest/all the guests is a really nice touch and shows the parents what a great time your guests had. Try to incorporate the theme of the party into the thank-you as a nice keepsake.
~ Make/buy the thank-you at least a week before the party.
~ Distribute the thank-you at the party or within a week after the party

Party Tips - Part Une

2009-07-22T12:07:00.003-04:00

put name tags on all the guests. And write their names on them. Just sayin’.
get the parents’ phone numbers as they drop off their children.
put a number on each child’s name tag to determine the order for games, gift unwrapping, etc. The kids embrace the structure!
check out echoage.com for your birthday child for gift-giving - charitable and eco-friendly.
have at least one activity for guests to do as they arrive such as a craft, tattoos, nail polish, etc.
have your child’s party between meals to save money but still provide nutritious snacks.
have a prize for each child if you are doing games with prizes. Nothing is sadder than little Bobby saying “do I get a pwize?”
have cupcakes for the guests to decorate instead of a cake. Tell them it’s a Transformers cake.
put your e-mail address as well on the invitation for the RSVP – some people prefer that to picking up the phone.
if they work with your theme, use your child’s toys as part of the decorations. Their toys. Not yours.

Who Do You Invite?

2009-04-14T11:28:00.001-04:00

Recently, we celebrated my youngest daughter's 10th birthday. I rubbed my hands together eagerly, picturing the explosion of decorations, games, etc. that - let's face it - are my raison d'être. Imagine my (mock) horror when she announced she wanted her party at The Art Studios (formerly Luci's Mudhouse). "But HONEY" I pleaded. "This is what I DO!" (She will not be appearing in any upcoming endorsements for Hullabaloo.)

She actually knew exactly what she wanted: the party would start at The Art Studios and then work its way back to our house where (joy oh joy) I would be able to plan and decorate to my heart's content.But here was the kicker: she was only inviting a few people from her class and excluding any friend, no matter how close, who was not in her class. "But HONEY" I pleaded. "What about little Matt? He'll be heartbroken!"

"He's not in my class. I'm only inviting people in my class" she reasoned."But what about that time when the two of you were at Lucy's Mudhouse and you said your friendiversary was coming up and you should pick a piece you could do together and little Matt said 'yup'?"She was unwavering and the party went on without little Matt. (Before you reach for your kleenex, apparently little Matt was unfazed and is using the same principle, as are her other friends.)

Long story short, there is an understanding in her "group" that you only invite friends in your class to your party. This was new to me. Is it commonplace now, in your experience, or perhaps an anomoly?